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In addition to music Chris also performs as a political satirist. Here are some of the characters you're likely to meet on the political stage here at the edge of the continent, up in Northwest Nowhere. 

Poor Lady Liberty. For many years she was married to Uncle Sam. For a while it was good- they had a couple of S.U.V.’s in the driveway, 2.5 kids in the house. But at some point she just started getting bored. She could not help it- what was a poor girl to do? Her raging hormones could not be satisfied by just one man and Uncle Sam was not a very good conversationalist. Mostly he just said "I want you! I want you!" For a while Lady Liberty loved that, but it got a little old. When she first told Uncle Sam that her desires were starting to wander he was devastated, but he soon realized that his wife was unquenchable so he and Lady Liberty made a deal- she could sleep around, but with people that Uncle Sam wanted to get close with also. No, he did not want to get close physically, just politically. Our wanton Lady was given permission to indulge her salacious nature as long as she reported back to Uncle Sam and the C.I.A. Thus began Lady Liberty’s sex-crazed romp through the bedrooms and palaces of some of the worlds most notorious dictators and terrorists- Haiti’’s Papa Doc (He’s a Gynecologist!) Duvalier, Afghanistan’s Osama Bin Laden, Panama’s Manuel ("They don’t call him Manny for nothing") Noriega, and Iraq’s Saddam Hussein. Of course, history shows that many of these relationships ended up in the rocks ...chopped on mirrors, but our fun lovin’ gal is still out there giving it her best shot and she just loves telling all of the juicy details to an audience.

Recently elected as Governor of California, the Gropingfuhrer is taking his case directly to the people. And he is not afraid to mix it up with the left wing of the political spectrum. He has appeared in front of anti-G.M.O. activists, spoken to advocates of medical marijuana, and even addressed the Green Party at one of their own conventions! He wants people to know that he is sorry that some people misunderstand his "playful behavior" with women (some people are so sensitive!). He is also seeking support for his new program for economic vitality as well as public safety- i.e., tax breaks for Hummers! He also is going to propose legislation that changes G.M.O. from meaning Genetically Modified Organism to Good Modified Organism because, in reality, the corporations want what is best for all of us and they are a really humanitarian bunch.

These are just a few Governor Gropingfuhrer’s talking points and even though he has been booed off the stage more than a few times he believes it is his responsibility to speak to all of the people of California and he will keep trying. 

 

At a recent gathering at a top-secret location in Northern California a spiritual ceremony was conducted in a brazen attempt to channel the spirit of resident President George Bush into the body of Chris Skyhawk. It was hoped that George might actually be healed through the powers vested in the assembled Priests and Priestesses of the Pagan Buddhist Christian Hippie and Jewish coalition forces. It was further theorized that if George could be shown a truly good time that he might see the error of his frat boy ways and start to be a little gentler on the inhabitants of the earth. The idea was to free his Inner Pagan and for a while it worked! Here you can see George was getting downright tribal with these lovely Temple Goddesses. Throughout the ceremony he attested that he never felt so alive or connected. He even said he wanted to learn some chants for christ’s sake! Alas, at some point the ceremony had to end as Chris did need his body back and George returned to his body (wife Laura never knew he was missing). Since that time George has continued to wreak havoc upon the entire Known Universe so perhaps another ceremony might be in order.

 

 

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Last modified: April 02, 2007